And The Game Is On...

So, what's the deal with internet dating? I've spent all of my mature life - past the ripe age of 13 - online, hoping to run into just the right person. But is it really all that special?



If you look to the bars ... All we have is women and men mixing about intoxicated or on the way to be. People have to go with friends so you have competition and peer pressure. You don't have the little questionaires to fill out in the doorway, so honestly the little you might get to know, well... that's all on you to bring up.



There are the hookups and blind dates we make through friends. And honestly were you expecting them to look any better when they show up at the door looking like something out of a bad 80's film? You wonder, does you friend know you at all? How could they set you up with someone sooo fucking clueless.



So why then, does internet dating get such a bad rap? Maybe it is the hundreds of lame men dying to get into your panties after just one IM... come on girl, tell me you didn't know that shit was coming! Maybe it's the fact that we let our guard down, we think we are all here for the same thing. We all want to feel special, we all want to feel desired, we all long to feel loved, and at some point we are all looking to get our families started. But is that really what most of the guys on your dating site are looking for? I'm sorry, I just don't see that.



The dating world is such a mess. The whole experience tends to throw me off. I put my picture out there, fill out the questionaire, write a little story about why I think I am the one and who I'm looking for. So why am I only getting asswipes? I know that's what I come back to everytime. I'm just not interested in that game anymore. I've seen better and now that's the only thing I want.



The internet is where I found the man I lost my virginity to when I was 16 years old. We spent the next two plus years together. Until we finally crumbled from the substantial age difference between us. I was emotionally immature and 100% unprepared for the world he offered me. The internet is where I found my husband when I was 20 ... and well, he is my ex now.



So, why do I find them there? And why do I keep going back? Most the men seem to be playing a feirce game. I feel like I'm being wrangled in and often feel, towards the end, like I'm being drop-kicked to the curb. The whole experience of finding 'someone' feels dirty and cruel. I know I'm wishing for a better way. ... Maybe I can meet him in a dance club...